003 Learning Philosophy

Part Two: Psychology

“There is no neutral education. Education is either for domestication or for freedom.” – Joao Coutinho

Oppressive Systems

Traditional schooling is a research study by design—many fixed variables, some independent variables, tests, and a controlled environment—however, many view it as something that is needed. It is a necessary system… now that families are surviving by working individually outside of their homes with no close-knit community. Maybe it’s time to break down all of these oppressive systems? Okay, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. One revolution at a time, right?

There is no shortage of psychological research supporting the notion that ideally, families would spend most of their time with their children. Unfortunately, with how our society currently functions, parents spend an average of just 80-120 minutes per day with their children. As for us, we would rather live in a cardboard box on the side of the road than allow for this to be the case. However, every family has different needs, so we’re not a gold standard here. 

With ample evidence to show how vital it is to not bully (spank, threaten, scare, shame, etc.) our children, it would be entirely unethical to study this issue any further. But alas the debate about what is the best for a child’s mental health seems to be ongoing. It is our belief that these debates over how to raise kind humans wouldn’t exist if the oppressive systems we function in were not in place. It merely takes us breaking free of those systems to realize that being a parent is so difficult because we are wearing chains. On the flip side, being a child is difficult when children are given chains too heavy for their growing arms to hold.

So, in today’s article, we briefly discuss how psychology and counseling influence our unique learning philosophy and our devotion to living outside of these oppressive systems. [Article coming soon detailing exactly what makes traditional schooling, in our belief, toxic and oppressive.]

Relational-Cultural Theory

We feel the Relational-Cultural theory of counseling by Jean Baker Miller goes hand-in-hand with the learning methods mentioned in our previous article. The premise of this theory is that throughout our lifespan, human beings grow through and toward connection and that we need connections in order to thrive. We take this premise and apply it to the development of an infant/child. Those unwanted behaviors most adults rant about (tantrums, screaming, defiance), we view as the child expressing an invisible need (usually, a need for connection). Instead of trying to jump in and solve the behavior, we focus on first identifying if the child is feeling seen, heard, and loved. [I’ll dig much more into this in later posts.]

“When we can allow children to deeply depend on us, to really lean into the embrace of our care, literally and figuratively, then what happens is that—out of the gift of deep dependence—emerges true independence.” - Dr. Vanessa Lapointe